TRAINING PART 2
Child developement by age
Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity and activity differ individually; however, studies have shown that there are general areas of development that are the same. Many of these differences vary according to sex of the child, age of the child and environmental factors. From the day we are born we have needs that have to be met. If these needs are not met, there will be delays in development. This is the category many of the children we serve fall into. We all have had circumstances and issues that have molded us into who we are, however with our group of children, a vast majority will have been exposed to circumstances that are beyond their control. All of these things factor into the development of children.
Birth to Age 7
When we are born, we rely exclusively on our parents to give us everything we need to survive. We need food, clothing and shelter. As we grow and develop, we need interaction. When bonding takes place, trust develops. A baby’s vision, reflexes, hearing, touch, taste, smell, crawling, walking, sitting up, rolling over, putting things in their mouths and vocalization develops. A child’s attention span is typically 3-5 minutes per year of age and starts becoming longer the older you get.
Ages 7-10
Many of the basic skills are down pat by this age. They enjoy all gross motor activities i.e. running, jumping, climbing etc. They start to express feelings, vocabularies, thoughts, and interests. They use their imagination. They learn to read with fluency. They like to solve puzzles, play music and dance.
Fine motor skills are still developing. They are able to provide self-care such as teeth brushing, using the toilet, combing their hair, changing their clothes, eating and lacing their shoes. They like responsibility and need structure. They like art and like to explore. They understand number concepts, ask tons of questions and enjoy conversation. The concept of time is understood. They are still learning concepts such as sharing and problem solving. These ages likes to test the limits and are mischievous as well.
Around age 8-10, they like to play sports and can focus on accomplishing tasks. They like to collect things and are intrigued by how things work. They are able to understand explanations and give thoughtful answers.
Ages 11-15
Girls from age 9-12 and boys 11-14 begin stages of puberty. This brings hormonal and physical body changes which will be a point of contention. By this age, children have been exposed to many of life’s circumstances and have dealt with many different situations. Their focus shifts from playing “baby” games to academics.
Friends begin having a large influence over decisions. They like to take on increased responsibility, worry about outward appearance over themselves and others, understand complex issues, desire privacy, and they have MOOD SWINGS, create and participate in “drama,” and test the limits even more so than previously.
CHILDREN WE SERVE
The children we serve display behaviors with many extremes and variances depending on the care or treatment they have received in those early years of development. These experiences or lack thereof will determine their unique sense of who they are. Some of our children have been abused and neglected and their basic needs were not met. Some have been diagnosed with disorders such as ADD/ADHD, bipolar, ODD, OCD, and an array of other mental or physical issues that have been so traumatic it has contributed to behavior/insecurity issues in their lives. A simple lack of food in their home can cause them to behave in certain ways and many of these life situations have lifetime consequences.
AGES 11-15 AT CAMP
If these children want to confide in you please make them aware that confidence can only be kept if they are not talking about harming themselves or others. Also, let them know if what they are telling you is too much for you to handle. If that occurs, ask them if it is ok to bring in an adult to help discuss things.
As you talk with them follow these guides:
Be genuine: Don’t be afraid to tell them if the situation is difficult for you to talk about and that it has to be difficult for them as well.
Allow for silence: They may need time to form their words.
A different setting: Communication can be easier in different settings such as sitting in a hallway, walking, having a snack etc…
Provide positive feedback: Acknowledge their strengths, compliment the good things you see in them.
Watch your body language: Be as relaxed as you can, do not stand over them, be on their level…literally…if they are sitting, you sit. Make eye contact. Keep your arms uncrossed and open, keeping your voice low and calm.
Do not ask them to justify or explain their behavior: “Why” can put them on the defensive, they may not know why.
Help them with the words: Expressing emotions are difficult. You can help them by using phrases like this based on their body/emotion language: I see you don’t look very happy? Are you feeling sad, angry, or frustrated? Use whatever phrase works for the situation.
Reassurance: Let them know you are there for them and even if they do not want to talk, just sit with them. Sometimes it may be all they want and that is okay too.
Remember: Never be alone with a camper. Have another staff member with you.
Remember: Never make them feel ashamed. Ever!
Below is a list of signs that may indicate a child in your group is suffering or about to have a breakdown:
Agitation
Inconsolable crying
Fear
Extreme high or low activity levels
Isolating themselves from the group or in general
Paranoia
Puffy eyes, red face
Joking too much
Self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, smoking)
Anger
Picking fights
Getting overly physical - and this could be manifested in both a physical way (cutting) or in a sexual way, excessive sleep, intense emotions, and impulsive and/or risky behaviors
These are but a few of the signs to look for and if you witness any of these please make Seeds of Hope Adult Staff aware of them immediately.
As always, if the situation is beyond your ability to help, please let one of us know.
Rules we must remember in
dealing with all children in our care
Never be alone with the child
Have them sit next to you
and not on your lap
Give side hugs and not
front to front hugs
The Seeds of Hope programs serve foster, adopted, and
at-risk children.
Foster care is a temporary home for children in need of a family until permanence can be established. Reasons children come into care include abuse-physical, abuse-sexual, abuse-emotional (very hard to prove), neglect (most often the reason), or dependency. Some don’t have a forever home and will be in an orphanage or group home till they age out at 18.
Adoption is permanence established for a child with a legally approved individual or couple.
At-risk is determined by four “familial” and three “personal” conditions that have been identified by the Census Bureau. These circumstances are
The absence of either or both parents from the household the child resides in
At least one foreign-born parent of recent immigration
Low family income
The absence of any employed parent or guardian in the household
The child has at least one disability
Being retained in grade at least once
Speaks English less than “very well”.
We must be extremely sensitive and empathetic to the children we serve and how we help them deal with experiences here at camp. We are blessed to serve them for two weeks in the summer and once a month if they participate in the mentorship program. In these times, we want to exude God’s love and acceptance of who they are and how they have been made.
Our job is to make them feel special and to give them an experience that will always be remembered. We are to never make a child feel insignificant in any way.
Our goal is to uplift, protect, guide, teach, coach, and model the Lord Jesus and His character to them. What we say and do at this camp has the potential to truly change the world for the better.
Through your dedication and love shown to these kids, we have the chance to literally stop the cycles of abuse and neglect and to break the chains that hold so many back from reaching their God-given potential to be the best they can be and do it all in the name of Jesus!!
“There are six primary risk factors that are predictors of children from “hard places”. These risk factors are: prenatal stress, difficult or traumatic labor or birth, medical trauma early in life, abuse, neglect, and trauma. Based on this list, it is clear that this term, “children from hard places,” accurately describes many more children than merely those who were institutionalized or adopted later in life. Further, it is well established that children impacted by adoption or foster care have all experienced some degree of loss and, as a result, are more likely to encounter a variety of questions and wrestle with different issues relating to that loss and the grief and pain that flow from it.”
— Dr. Karen Purvis, author of Created to Connect